The Curse Of The Missing Coffee Machine
by pupeez4eva
Summary: When Seaver plays a prank on Reid by hiding the coffee machine, she didn't expect the reaction to it. Everyone is hysterical, talking about how 'it' is happening again...what exactly is 'it' and why does it have everyone - even Hotch - so afraid of Reid?


"You did _WHAT?"_

The horrified scream of Emily Prentiss echoed through the bullpen. Heads swiveled, as people turned to stare at the normally put-together women.

"Um...did I say something wrong?" Ashely Seaver felt her brow furrow in confusion. Emily was one of the people she got along with most at the BAU, and the women was usually so professional and calm. It was uncharacteristic of her to get this upset for no reason.

"You didn't just _say _something wrong!" Emily snapped, almost hysterically. "You _did _something wrong! So, so, so, _so _wrong!"

"I...I just hid the coffee machine..." Seaver felt herself growing more confused by the second.

"She _hid the coffee machine?" _someone whispered from the crowd of spectators.

"No one was using it..." she continued. Emily stared at her as if she was crazy.

"_Reid _was using it!"

"Well yeah" Seaver shrugged her shoulders. "That was the point...it was supposed to be a prank..."

"A prank" Emily repeated. "You wanted to prank Reid...by taking away the coffee machine?" She sounded faint.

"Yeah" something uncertain twisted in Seaver's gut. She couldn't understand why this was such a big deal; why everyone was looking at her as if she had done the unthinkable. "I wasn't hurting anyone, or anything..."

"Not _hurting _anyone?" Emily looked at her as if she was crazy. "Do you even know what you've done?"

"It was just a prank!" Seaver snapped, feeling slightly hurt by Emily's behaviour. "I don't see why everyone - literally everyone, I mean, why do they even care? - thinks its such a big deal. Morgan and Garcia and sometimes even Reid plays pranks on everyone and no one ever cares about it - why is it such a big deal if _I _do it?"

"Seaver" Emily said. "You can play as many pranks as you want - but the coffee machine is, and always will be, off limits."

"And why is that?" Seaver raised one eyebrow.

Emily shuddered and looking faintly haunted. She whispered one word.

"Reid."

"Reid?" Seaver's brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't get it."

"What don't you get?" The sound of Derek Morgan's voice made both women swivel their heads around. The man was only just entering the room, and frowned in confusion at the looks on everyones faces.

"Hey is everything alright?"

"Morgan" Emily whispered. "It's happened again."

For a moment Morgan looked confused. Then a looking of dawning horror began to spread on his face.

"Oh no" he breathed. "You don't mean...?"

"The coffee machine" Emily confirmed. "It's gone."

Morgan sank to the floor, whispering a barely audible mantra of "no, no, no."

"This can't be happening again" whimpered a voice from the crowd of onlookers.

"We've got to get out of here!" someone else cried.

"I don't have a car!" sobbed another. "I'll never make it out on time!"

"He's going to kill me!"

"I never thought I'd have to look into the eyes of the devil again!"

"_WHAT _is going on?" Seaver screeched. "And seriously - the _devil?"_

Emily and Morgan looked at each other and simultaneously shuddered.

"Reid" they said, at the same time.

"Reid" Seaver repeated, in a dead-pan voice. "Your telling me that _Reid's _the one freaking everyone out?"

"You weren't there the last time..." Emily whispered. "You haven't seen the horrors we saw on that day..."

"This is Reid we're talking about, right?" Seaver raised one eyebrow. "Reid, the sci-fi nerd. Reid the prodigy. Reid who never shuts up. Reid with the worst taste of fashion in existence. Reid who knows absolutely everything. Reid - our friend, Reid?"

"You only know the nice side of Reid" murmured Morgan. "You haven't seen his other side - his...coffee-less side."

"Coffee-less?" All three members of the BAU spun around to see Hotch standing behind them, a stony look on his face. Rossi and Garcia flanked him on either side. "You know that word is banned from this building, and anywhere in a 30-mile radius. _He _could be listening."

"Okay" Seaver let out a little laugh. "You brought Hotch into your little joke too? How'd you manage that?"

"_Joke?" _Morgan exclaimed, incredulously. "You think this is a _joke? _This is a matter of life and death, women - there is no joking!"

"Morgan" Garcia whispered. "I don't like it when you talk like that...it makes me think of what happened..."

"Don't worry, Garcia" Hotch assured her. "That will never happened again. No one in this building is idiotic enough to move the coffee machine."

Seaver felt her temper flair. "What the _hell _is going on?"

"Sir, I'm afraid it _is_ happening again" Emily choked out. "Seaver moved the coffee machine."

"Seaver" Hotch said, sharply. "Is this true?"

"_Yeah _it's true" Seaver bit out. "I don't see what the big deal is. They" she gave a sharp little wave in Emily and Morgan's direction. "Seem to think that Reid is going to come after us, or something. Ridiculous, huh?"

Hotch stared at her for a moment. "Seaver" he said, after a while. "If we come out of this alive, your fired."

Seaver blinked.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Garcia burst into tears. "I only just got over the nightmares and..its happening again!"

"I never even got to get married for the fourth time" Rossi whispered, staring of into space.

"Maybe it won't be so bad" Hotch soothed. "Maybe if we sacrifice the one who took the machine away, he'll leave the rest of us alone!"

"Hey!" Seaver snapped. "No ones sacrificing me until I get some answers. What the _hell _is going on?"

"You weren't there the last time..." Emily choked. "You don't know..."

"Know what?" Seaver demanded. "Tell me!"

Garcia burst into hysterical tears. "I can't do this!" she wailed. "It's all too much..."

She ran crying out of the room. Seaver stared incredulously at her disappearing back.

"It happened not too long ago" Seaver whirled around at the sound of Rossi's voice. The man looked to have gotten ahold of himself, though a haunted look remained in his eyes. "The coffee machine broke down" his voice broke and he took a shuddering breath. "Sorry" he murmured, once he had gained control. "Those words are always hard to say. For all of us."

"The coffee machine broke down?" Seaver repeated. The entire bullpen simultaneously shuddered.

"It's on the list of the forbidden" Morgan replied. "Along with 'the coffee machine is gone' and 'the coffee machine has been moved' and 'the coffee machine is out of coffee' and...oh god, I think I'm going to be sick..." Morgan pressed his hands to his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut.

"So yes" Rossi murmured, giving Morgan a concerned look. "The coffee machine...well you know what happened- none of us thought anything off it. It wasn't a big deal - no one even used the thing. Well, no one but Reid."

"I want my mom" sobbed someone from the crowd.

"Okay" Seaver felt her frustration building up. "The coffee machine broke down. What next?"

"Don't say that!" Rossi snarled. "Jesus, women, do you know what traumatic events those simple words resurface? You have no idea what we went through on that day!"

"So tell me!" Seaver flung her hands in the air.

"I...I can't" Rossi whispered. "I can't talk about it...it's too difficult. I still have the teeth marks..."

Seaver dropped her hands by her side, and stared at Rossi incredulously. _"What?"_

"We all have scars from that day, Seaver" Hotch said, putting a comforting hand on Rossi's shoulder. "Don't act so surprised. Mine reside on the hairline."

"Shoulder blades" Emily said. "Both of them. I still feel pain every morning."

"Left buttox" Morgan muttered.

"_Reid _did that?" Seaver asked, amazed. "Spencer Reid...are you sure we're talking about the same person?"

"None of us we'll ever forget that day" Hotch snapped. "It took thirteen armed officers to finally sedate him. He was like an animal - he wouldn't listen to reason. It took a full month for the headquarters to be fully repaired."

"And Strauss didn't fire him?" Seaver asked, incredulously.

Emily shuddered. "She was too afraid."

There was a moment of silence as Seaver stared at them with alarmed eyes. "This...this isn't a joke, is it?"

Before anyone could reply, Stauss' voice sounded from behind them.

"What is everyone doing standing around?" she demanded. "There is paperwork to be done, cases to be solved!"

"All cases have been put temporarily on hold" Hotch replied. Stauss narrowed her eyes.

"Says who?"

"Erin" Hotch whispered. "Its...it's happened again."

Strauss stared at him for a moment, before comprehension slowly dawned on her face. She let out a gasp of horror and clutched at her throat.

"Good Lord" she whispered. "No...how...we were so careful..."

"Apparently not all of us" Morgan replied, giving Seaver a cold look.

"We...we made emergency procedures in case something like this ever happened again..." Strauss struggled to get ahold of herself. "We need to evacuate everyone before Dr. Reid gets here..."

"You need to evacuate everyone before Dr. Reid gets here" Seaver repeated. "God, I'm never going to forget that."

"You" Strauss turned to Seaver. "Shut up." She turned back to Hotch. "Aaron, we need to get everyone out of this building. Why didn't you do so before?"

"I thought it was a lost cause" Hotch admitted. "I was sure he would be back any second -"

"Well you were wrong" Strauss snapped. "Now get everyone out, before -"

"Hey guys." Strauss and Hotch turned to stare at each other, horror shining in both of their eyes. Morgan dove under a nearby desk. Emily sank to the floor.

Seaver turned around to stare at the doorway of the bullpen. She never thought she'd ever be afraid of that goofy, innocent smile that Reid always seemed to have...but she could feel the cold beginnings of fear growing inside of her, as she stared into his dark eyes.

"Seaver" he greeted, and she barely resisted the urge to scream "what do you want from me?"

"Reid" she whispered.

"What's going on?" Reid looked around the bullpen, still smiling. "Everyone looks like they've seen a ghost.

And then he laughed.

Not many people could say that they'd seen the face of the devil - but from that day on, Ashley Seaver became one of the few who could.

She'd never look at Spencer Reid the same way again.


End file.
